White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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