I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
