Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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