you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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