never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
