dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
