You can't special order awesome
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
