you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Pooping to opera.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
