your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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