dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
