she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
