Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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