I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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