singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
