So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
