Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Panties = found
Randomize
