IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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