Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
