DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
