Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
