Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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