i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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