She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
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I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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