Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
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