i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
