Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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