I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
