what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
