OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
