you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
