I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
