you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
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who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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