Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
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