Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
