I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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