paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize