if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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