Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Randomize
