but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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