Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
