You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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