Christians are straight up FREAKS
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
