I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I will be naked everywhere
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
