Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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