I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
