White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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