Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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