I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
