His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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