champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
