I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
