At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
