Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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