I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
we're making bets on your personal life
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
