She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So vagazzling was a success
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
