so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
