Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
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So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
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the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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