I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize