I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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