some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Randomize
