There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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