Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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