I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
