Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
